It's awful quiet in here...

Hello all.. hope you are staying warm!

The title of this blog comes from the fact that my 2 boys are across town visiting Grandma today, so it's just me and the 2 year old who I babysit for. (he literally says maybe 3 words all day long)

I got a lot done today, laundry, cleaning, sorting organizing, this blog, etc., but it was just TOO quiet! I turned up the tunes, I turned on the TV, I talked endlessly to myself and the little fellow I babysit for. Nothing shook the sad, lonely feeling I feel when my family is gone. What can I say, I am a sap. :)

It really got me thinking about life. I really do think there is some sort of plan to this mixed up game we call life.

Nine years ago, I was a far cry from the person you see today. I was quite selfish, materialistic and never, ever thought about the future, or truly about anyone else but myself. I was suffering from a pretty bad case of depression that went undiagnoised for YEARS because I never let anyone get close enough to give me any advice I'd actually listen to. Then I met my husband. All of a sudden I wanted to be someone his family would like, someone ANY one else would like. We had a whirlwind romance.. we got married 7 months after we met. That's right.. 7 months. We eloped and got married again in the Church later. Yes, it was rough at first, I was most of the reason it was rough, I was not used to being a part of anything. Then, I found out Brendan was coming. Ever since that moment I have been working to be the person I am right now. Sure I stumbled along the way, I had problems that I needed to fix, views and ways of thinking I needed to change, but I did it, and continue to do it.

Sept. 20, 2007 my Mom died at 63. It was THE hardest time of my whole life.. but it got me to do something I had never REALLY done before.. pray. It sounds cliche, but I found Christ and everything just became easier. Being a good person was no longer a struggle, but a joy.
No, I'm not going to bring Bibles to your house.. I'm not even going to talk to others about this unless they bring it up first.. because I think everyone has to find their own way, or it means nothing.

My long winded point is, if not for my husband having faith in me, and not giving up on me... and God not having a master plan that couldn't see, I could be sitting in an empty house everyday.

Instead of being angry and alone, I get to wake up to two little boys laughter, I get to wash pairs of spider-man underwear and make Macaroni and hot dogs. I get to give up night out at the bars for nights in watching Wall-ee and having popcorn. Instead of scouring the clubs for a boyfriend, I always have a Valentine, always have someone to have dinner with, and always have a best friend.

I, my Internet friends, am the luckiest girl in the whole world :)